Sunday, December 23, 2012

Dear Santa, please give me kid labor certificates that pay up

"Dear Santa" letter  from Tony Hicks:  Family of 5, father of 3 girls, no boys.  

Contra Costa Times/ Tony Hicks, Columnist, 12/20/12.  "Hicks:  All I want for Christmas is a pond full of reptiles."

"Hello Tony, next year you'll need to be nicer !"  
"I told my family I don't want anything for Christmas this year.  I lied.  What I said: Because of financial considerations (no money), no one had to buy me anything. And I meant it. Besides, my garage is about to burst with stuff. Not only do I have stuff from a family of five (mine), but I have additional stuff from a couple of other people who have moved to smaller quarters this past year. Sometimes I think, "If only there were a way to make the garage disappear (flamethrower) without harming the rest of the house."  Or someone could buy me an extra garage.

Certificate to Dad: "I'm not a boy, get over it."
But all this doesn't mean I couldn't use Christmas gifts. I remember making homemade gift certificates as a kid -- you know, "Good for one car wash," "Good for one leaf-raking," "Good for one snowmobile oil change," stuff like that. Generally, the adults never collected and thought it was cute. Best of all, I didn't have to spend any of the money I saved up for bi-weekly 96-ounce Slurpees and Hefty bag-size sacks of Doritos. Clearly, dental hygiene was important to me when I was 11.

More than a promise.  I would welcome my kids doing the same thing (giving me homemade gift certificates, not eating 74 pounds of Doritos in one sitting). And I would think it was cute. And it would save them money. But unlike other adults, I would totally collect. Just because a kid is cute doesn't mean they shouldn't have to pay up.     

----  Offering to wash my car is wonderful. But how about learning to fix it? I actually floated this one by one of my girls, who looked at me straight-faced and said, "Good luck with that. You should have had a boy."  Wait until she brings home a boy someday, and I don't let her leave with him until he fixes my car."   Read more.  

Posted by Kathy Meeh

1 comment:

Chris Porter said...

Hi Santa..I know Conor because he is my neighbor and he has been a very good boy this year, especially to his sister Naomi and his dog Sonny. He deserves a great present.