Green technology the old fashion way

Pacifica Tribune Letter-to-editor (1/13)- "PG&E", Tom Jackson

http://www.mercurynews.com/pacifica

Well, here we go again. Two months ago the PG&E billed me $183 for utility services. This month they billed me $416.28. Hello... Can you hear me now? That's $416.28 This hefty increase came a month after being apprised of the fact that they had attached, what they called a "Smart Machine" onto my meter. This "Smart Machine" (They said) is to help to keep their business running smoother (like Ducolax).

In order to keep my Cup From Running Over with energy abuses, I patriotically did the following: First, I disconnected my electric toothbrush; I then started taking only three showers a week. During the other four days of the week I walk on the leeward side of the street. I shut down my hot tub and have now started raising rice in it. To further cut down on electric power I use the fireplace to generate heat; but not if it falls on a "Spare The Air day"). I also use the barbecue more frequently in continuing my quest for cutting back on electric usage. But not on a "Spare The Air day."

I do use electricity for running my washing machine twice a week. I wouldn't have used it at all if my doctor hadn't warned me that I am getting too old to pack my soiled undies down to the creek to try beating them clean against the rocks. I now light up one room at a time, and only while that room happens to be the one I'm using. Everyone in this household is issued one light bulb; and when they are entering or leaving a room, they are to take their light bulb with them.

An energy saving tip: You may try turning your water heater temperature to "OFF." This will help you to save using even more electricity and gas. If washing soiled clothing in cold water doesn't remove those stains caused by your daily frivolities, the creek is always available; and there are no shortage of rocks there.

Learn to eat foods directly from the can; This saves even more electricity, or gas, depending on your stove. Be sure to read the labels on the cans carefully. My one light bulb wasn't quite bright enough during last Tuesday evening's repast and I ate a can of cat food thinking it to be a can of hash. Thankfully, It didn't cause me to cough up a fur ball. But I did start to enjoy having my tummy rubbed. To conserve electricity even further; I keep it so cold in the house, I can hang meat in any room. As for keeping the house warm, during these "Our Cold Snap Daze" I am still allowed to use the fireplace; and finding enough firewood poses no problem (unless I run out of furniture first). My cousin phoned to tell me his house has been so cold during these late evenings, that it caused his teeth to chatter so badly he needed to put them back into his mouth.

Posted by Kathy Meeh