Sunday, July 7, 2013

Life lessons most of us mostly grow out of: lying


Pacifica Tribune, Letters to the Editor, 7/2/13, "A child's mistake," by Dan B. Underhill

"Editor:  I am hoping we can all find ways to forgive the little girl who had us all so concerned about a (fabricated) would-be abductor.

Normal twisted kid, you tube, 1:16  minutes
At 10 years old one still has a lot to learn. I am not suggesting that anyone pretend that this wasn't a serious mistake, and I am so glad that I don't look anything like the artist's rendering of the fictitious perpetrator that appeared in the newspaper but those of us who have been 10 years old have probably made some mistakes and might be in a position to understand her situation. Cutting her some slack might allow her to concentrate on the learning opportunity presenting itself here rather than wasting it by beating herself up."
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Related  - H2g2.com, 5/11/03, "Lying vs.fibbing."  "According to my Collins English Dictionary, the difference between to lie and to fib is as follows:  TO LIE, to speak untruthfully with the intent to mislead or deceive; TO FIB, to tell a harmless and trivial lie".  Scholastic, "The truth about lying", "learning to fib is an important step in your child's development. ...Helping your child develop morality and responsibility for his actions over the long haul is the goal. While lying is a normal aspect of growing up, that does not mean it should be dismissed. Wall Street Journal 5/11/10, "Survival of the fibbest:  why we lie so well."  ... "Whether we're 2 years old or 62, our reasons for lying are mostly the same: to get out of trouble, for personal gain and to make ourselves look better in the eyes of others.Buzz Feed, "13 lies adults tell that we can't believe we believed as kids."   

Posted by Kathy Meeh

20 comments:

  1. the gang of NO has never stopped lying, not once for 30 years

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  2. Yep, there's traffic, there's no traffic, there's traffic, there's no traffic.

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  3. Frequently in matters of humanity, Dan Underhill strikes the perfect note. FMV this LTE is an example of that expressed maturity and wisdom. Thanks Dan!

    I wish we could also agree on the need for city progress, and a better city economy. We don't, and should there be factional compromise it will likely only occur through a forced 3rd party agency. But being human is a broader, universal spectrum to celebrate, easily transparent when observed.

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  4. Praising the hippies,noobees and nimbys that ruined the town.

    Way to go

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  5. Can someone translate that into English for me?

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  6. Anonymous 8:35 AM, praising others for admired qualities is human. That did not ruin the town, NIMBISM did.

    Anonymous 8:39 AM, "3rd party to force progress" (if that's your confusion): It could be a City Council, regulations, a developer, CalTrans, etc. Otherwise, there seems to be near zero compromise between NIMBY and Progress factions in this city.

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  7. Kathy I said nimby

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  8. Kathy

    Did you ever think about being a spiritual leader?

    Like Ghandi and Mandela

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  9. ... "Like Ghandi and Mandela?" Enlightened Anonymous 10:17 AM.

    Or, more like Fortune Cookie, after the City meal was eaten.

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  10. I would like to know what was the big secret about what this girl was really up to? Was she making yet another big mistake? Drugs or boys? If so protecting her by not releasing that information may not be the best thing. Of course without mentioning her name. Sometimes kids need to be embarrased in order to learn a lesson. And if she thinks she got away with something the behavior may be repeated.

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  11. @1241 Whatever mistake she made at the age of 10, she's damn lucky you're not her parent. Let her family and the cops handle the incident.

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  12. @ 137, spoken like true non parent

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  13. She probably snuck out and met a boy that was bad news.

    If it was drugs the cops would have taken her to juvi

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  14. @324 No, spoken like a true parent who's raised 4 good ones without benefit of any public shaming, thank you very much!

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  15. Yeah I'll bet they're "good ones" 449

    Too many parents coddle and protect kids these days. If a child does something really wrong the "shame" IS part of the learning experience.

    When My parents found out I stole a ball from a store they drove back, made me go inside and give back the ball and apologize. I learned my lesson and I never stole again. There's nothing wrong with a little shame if the child did a really bad thing.

    In this case I don't know what the girl was really up to so I can't say if the information should be released or not. Hopefully she learned a lesson and will never repeat something like this again.

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  16. That's right. You don't know. It's been handled by the parents and the cops, as it should be.

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  17. Don't forget, all of us paid part of the $10,000 or more spent investigating this case. It is hardly a private matter. This is much more serious than telling a little fib. There are good lessons for our children to learn here and it shouldn't be brushed under the rug.

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  18. There's a good reason kids' names are not normally released if they commit crimes.

    This case hardly requires that the girl be publicly humiliated.

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  19. The reason is they are minors. The names are only released if they are being tried as an adult.

    She made up a story and got caught up in her own lies.

    Seriously I think everyone has done that a time or two when they were little. Lesson learned.

    Next.

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  20. Why would you assume the child hasn't been punished adequately for her misbehavior? Give it a rest. I think I got my money's worth when the police determined there was no kidnapper running around.

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